Do you ever struggle with trusting people? Have you been so hurt by someone or something in your past that it becomes difficult to establish trust, even with the most loving people? Do you often resist asking others for the things you need, because you feel that you might be disappointed again? Do you often bury things, because trusting those around you is too difficult to do?
Beautiful women of God, the Bible says “Trust in The Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Prov. 3:5-6, NKJV) Pride is a form of leaning to our own understanding and is not the way that God desires us to behave (see 1 John 2:16). When we operate in pride we cut off the blessings of God in our lives and we refuse His grace, which is freely available to us.
Interestingly enough, many of us operate with a mentality that we will accept things from God, but refuse to accept help from others because we do not want to be indebted to people. We loathe the idea of not being able to help ourselves out of our own situations, or the prospect of others throwing their help back in our faces. Other times, we equate asking for help with being “greedy” or “needy” (in a derogatory way), but that is not true at all. Unless we are God (which we are not), we will always have needs that outmatch our resources. We may say to ourselves “Oh, I have this good job so I don’t have to rely on others for what I need. I can take care of myself.” However, even if all of our material needs are satisfied, there are non-material needs that we have such as love, affection, etc. that we alone cannot provide.
Believe it or not, refusing to humble ourselves before God (and, by necessity, before others) results in a haughtiness that opens the door for the devil. How so? Satan and over 3,000 angels were kicked out of heaven (see Isaiah 14), because they refused to humble themselves and submit to God’s authority. Cast down to reside temporarily on earth (Rev. 12:9), the devil (in the form of a serpent) persuaded Eve (Gen. 3:1-6) and tried to persuade Jesus (Matt. 4:1-11) to commit acts that would place them in an equal or superior position with God. When we behave as if we can do it all, in essence we place ourselves in the same position as God, with no needs, wants, or cares. We alienate Him and those He sends to us, and we lean to our own understanding about our situation. That is when the devil comes in and says “You can handle this on your own. Don’t ask for help. You will look weak. They won’t let you forget about it. God won’t help you or He takes too long; therefore, you must help yourself.” And pretty soon, that is the way that we operate, pushing us further away from God in an attempt to resolve our own situations (see Prov. 16:18; 29:23).
Many times we don’t say what we need out of embarrassment or shame, but who doesn’t have needs? God purposely gives to individuals in our lives so that these same individuals can be a blessing to us, but we will not ask for their help. Ironically, God is trying to answer our prayers through others but we refuse to remove the Superwoman cape. Before long, our cape is draping on the ground and we can not fly because the cares of the world are on our shoulders.
We need each other! We cannot operate in this false reality, as if we do not need anything or anyone. In the end, we must trust God that the people that He brings into our lives can and should help us when we need it.
There may have been people in your life that let you down or disappointed you at a time when you needed them most. For that reason, you don’t trust anyone anymore and feel like you can’t be vulnerable with anyone to share your needs. You lost confidence in people or you use your own measures to determine whether the people in your life are in a position to help you.
If you have difficulty trusting others or have embraced a spirit of pride, then repeat this prayer with me:
Lord Jesus, I acknowledge you as my Savior and as The Lord of my life. I have allowed fear, worry, and distrust to put up walls in my heart that prevent me from asking for help when I need it the most. Although I know that You are always there for me, I also desire to establish or reestablish trust with those that You have sent in my path. Father, help me to discern those individuals in my life that You have sent to me and remove pride and fear so that I can establish meaningful relationships with those that love and care about me. Send individuals my way that will love me and respond when I ask for assistance. Make me aware of my limitations so that I can discern when I need help and ask for it. Remove every fear in my heart, and cause me to humble myself before You and men so that I can receive the help, love, and provision that I need. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.
To be sure, we don’t use or exploit people for what we need. That is not God’s way. However, we must open ourselves up to the folks that God sends into our lives so we can get the help that we need. Remember, all of your needs are not monetary! Sometimes, the things we need the most are non-monetary which, when acquired, will position us to receive the material items that we so desperately need (see Matt. 6:25-34, NIV).
Life lesson: Let go of pride. It will hinder your walk and service with God, and hurt you in the long run. No one can handle the stresses of life alone, and that is why God created families, communities, and friends. If you feel that you have absolutely no one to turn to for help, pray and ask God to place people in your life that will give you what you need.
Be blessed, women of God! Stop holding on to your old ways of thinking and behaving, and don’t let your prideful behavior get in the way of what God desires to do in your life. If you can help and give to others, certainly there is at least one person out there that is positioned to bless you in return. It is not enough to say that we trust God without being open and vulnerable to the people that He sends into our lives.
Jesus gave us a very simple formula for receiving what we need: “Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt. 7:7, NIV) Let us move forward, asking for what we need and freely receiving the help offered to us. It is certainly worth the effort.
Yours in the Journey,